Another year, another couple months, another week... down the drain.

So here we are in 2013 and I've already lost January, February, and the first week of March.  I have however, made SOME changes which will ultimately lead to my goals.  Where the fuck has the time gone??

1. In late 2012, I reduced my drinking.  When I saw how many calories I was intaking from booze alone, I was shocked.  No wonder I'm still a fat ass!  Now, that being said, I'm not perfect.  While my overall weekly consumption is down, I find myself having problems with what I feel like would be considered binging.  Then again, when I think about it, perhaps it is just that my body is reacting differently to alcohol and I'm getting drunker faster.  Either way, I'm not drinking every night as before and feel pretty good about it. 

2. I quit smoking in December, but have recently fallen off the wagon.  I know this is an excuse, but I am under a good deal of stress at work and sometimes have trouble channeling that into a healthy activity.  It's so easy to fall back to cigarettes, as my brain is already programmed to believe they relieve stress.  I need to program my brain into working out when I get stressed and get those natural endorphins flowing.  It's also very hard being out in public socializing with others without that cigarette.  Ugh!

3. I joined Weight Watchers.  I signed up for the hype.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  It's only my second week in, and I'm already screwing it up.  By that I mean that I'm over my points.  It isn't a complete exercise in futility though. It has made me more aware of what I'm putting in my mouth and is helping me to make more responsible choices.  One of the biggest things that is a point hog (of course), is the booze.  You'd be amazed.  I am finding myself eating better portions, although I'm not perfect by any means. 

All in all though, it feels like I'm half-assing it.  My overall "plan" was to make these changes one at a time, then work in the physical exercise after these have stuck for a couple weeks.  But nothing is going well.  I'm not doing any one of these things "by the book." So I'm left feeling depressed about it all.  I'm striving to do better and it's not like I'm giving up, but I know I can and should do better. 

Calgon, just take me away!!